Your Date’s Initial Opinion

Opinions Department

Weekly Highlight

Why Your Date’s Initial Opinion Really Doesn’t Matter Why potential dates’ compliance might matter more than their preference. Published on June 14, 2011 by Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D. in The Attraction Doctor Welcome back to The Attraction Doctor: People often worry about what potential dating partners think and feel. They believe that prospective lovers form strong opinions of them and make choices based on those attitudes. So, they often work hard to get their partner to “like” them up front and become attracted – hoping that preference will translate into a date, phone number, flowers, etc. But, the world frequently doesn’t work that way. Initial opinion often matters less than initial compliance. Much of the time, people simply make choices due to situational factors, unconscious influences and persuasion, rather than due to strong preferences. Then, they backwards rationalize after-the-fact. In other words, rather than choosing what they like – most people end up just liking whatever they choose. That means, if you can persuade the guy you like to ask you out, he will find you more attractive AFTER he does the asking. Or, that girl will find you more likable AFTER you convince her to give you her phone number. Persuasion and influence leads…while preference and opinion change follows to match. read more

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